Just how do you keep your marriage alive with 5 kids? There’s always chaos. The house is never in order, and there is always some task that must be done. How overwhelming!
First of all, acknowledging one another is key to keeping your marriage alive.
Yes you have so much to do every day but when one speaks the other should attentively listen. This means looking up into your significant other’s eyes when they are talking or watching their mouth if you’re a lip reader like me. Do not just glance up from your phone every couple of seconds. Really pay attention. This will make or break a marriage.
Seriously I think all of us women need to realize something here. Why are we nagging? We know bitching at our significant others is not going to give us the results we desire and it really doesn’t make us feel any better so what’s the point? Yes that pile of clothes has been sitting at the foot of the bed for two weeks now but is it really that big of a deal? I’m not saying do it yourself I’m saying if it is his crap then just let him pull wrinkled clothes and wear them. He is an adult. His choice. Don’t let it build resentment in your marriage.
Plan out your day.
Talk about the next day together in bed. This is so that there are no excuses or priorities that come up that day. When you are attentive to one another it leaves no room for doubt in any situations that arise when it comes to love and affection. If he is too tired to pay much attention, be sure to bring it up. Communication is how a marriage works. You need to feel able to talk to one another. I am far from organized. I do not have a routine but I will make sure that the kids are in bed at a certain time and that leaves me an hour or two with my husband every night. Phones are put up and TV is off unless we both decided that we just need some downtime even if it’s separate from one another we are beside one another, and I believe that helps.
Yes I fucking said it! No, sex ain’t everything but it’s important for you as much as your significant other. May I just say that when I’ve been a while without it I become easily irritated and feeling lonely. Sex helps by producing the love hormone oxytocin. Yes there is science behind it. When you or your significant other aren’t paying any attention to one another nor taking the time to make love then you are setting yourselves up for future depression. We are created to connect. We need to feel connected and wanted. This goes for both men and women. We may be different however, needing to feel wanted is what makes us the same.
Spend time outside of the home.
Now let me explain something here. I haven’t left my home in almost three weeks. I have 5 kids ages 7 and under day in and day out. We homeschool and everything we do practically revolves around the kids. Do I get overwhelmed? At times, absolutely. What I do is either stay up later to have a few minutes to myself. Or I try to wake up before the kids, which rarely happens.
If you have a good husband then he would take time with the children while you spend a few minutes outside today to the garden or journaling, taking a shower at night or in the morning whenever you do your shower routine. So I say get out of those confining walls.
Do something for yourself.
Craft, create an art piece, write some music, go have dinner with a friend. Just look around and think of something that you want to do. I myself started a business of my own, Actually I have more than one. Creator of this blog. I tend our homestead. I am a Doula, and have a MLM on the side. They all go together because it is health related. While I am not a therapist nor do I have any credentials in marriage counseling I do feel with my 17 years in a relationship/marriage I feel like I am pretty qualified in making things work.
What are some things that you feel like you could work on in your relationship? If there was anything in this post that resonated with you leave a comment below, I’d love to hear it.